TV for the soul
by LiquidMage49
Summary: When soul society gets tv, all the resident Captains,Lieutenants and zanpakuo have all got their favorite tv shows lined up. series of one shots.
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: this is going to be a side fic of oneshots that i,l update now and then. plz review and enjoy. also zanpakutos will be in this.

Disclaimer: i do not own bleach.

* * *

In order to keep up with modern times soul society has gotten one popular means of entertainment. TV. It has already swept soul society, and each and every Captain,Lieutenant and seated officers have all got their favorite tv shows, and have quickly have become hooked...

* * *

As the Captain of the tenth division walked down the hall of his barracks, he ignored the casual greetings from his squad members, and coldly brushed a distressed kira. The only thing on Hitsugaya Toshiro mind was to get to his lieutenants office. As the young Captain approach matsamotos office, he check to see if the coast was clear(which it was) then proceeded into the office.

Rangiku saw her captain enter," Tachio i was wondering wondering when you,d get here",.

"You will tell no one i was here", the short Captain coldly stated.

"Okay, but why is **HE** here", Rangiku confusedly ask.

Toshiro sighed,"**HE, **likes the show too", Hitsugaya said gestured towards his zanpaktuto.

Its a very good show, i especially like last weeks one when orson tried to get a -", Hyorinmaru began before being stopped by his master.

Toshiro had an annoyed look on his face," I didnt see last weeks one, i have it recorded and i dont need you ruining it",.

"But Tachiou if you havent seen it, you wont know whats going on in this one", Rangiku informed.

Toshiro sneered," With my genius mind it will be too easy to find out what happend",.

"Alright", the busty lieutenant tiredly replied.

The three sat down(also if your wondering haineko is not there) and turned on the tv and soon the theme music for _Desperate Housewife,s _came on. As the three got ready to watch the show, Rangiku got popcorn, Hyorinmaru got the drinks and well, Toshiro was keeping watch for the show to see when it comes on.

Contrary to what he said earlier , Toshiro was completely lost.

"Matsumoto why is bree going into there", whisperd the white haired taicho.

"Because she having an affair taicho", whisperd his busty fukataicho.

"Oh"

"Matsumoto, whys mike getting money from carlos ",

Matsumoto was starting to get annoyed ," Because hes in debt Tachio",.

"Oh, thanks".

"Matsumoto",Hitsaguya started up again.

Matsumoto was definitly annoyed now," What Tachio?", ask Rangiku in a way trying to suppress her anger.

Hitsugaya hunched over and whisperd," when did mike and susan get married ",.

Matsumoto was on the verged of snapping. How many episodes did Toshiro actually see, Matsumoto was about to hit her captain, when she remembered all the crap shes done in the past and how her Tachiou let it go, so she decided to let this go.

Hyorinmaru on the other hand, did not.

Hyorinmaru was quietly trying to watch the show, when every 2 minutes he heard his master ask a question, he was getting quite pissed off.

The last question pushed him over the edge, so much that he could only say one thing.

"Sit upon the frozen heavens".

In an instant the entire room, including the tv, was frozen.

Toshiro was furious," Hyorinmaru!", the young captain shouted," What the hell, i was watching that",.

"You were talking through the entire episode", shouted back the zanpaktuto.

" I was not talking , shouted Toshiro in denial.

Hyorinmarus eye twitched," WHAT",.

After that the entire district was frozen.

_IN THE FIFTH DIVISION BARRACKS._

Momo was doing paperwork, when she heard a commotion outside. The lieutenant ran to check what happened, she saw a large crowd muttering something like "This just like last week",. When she what had happend , the lieutenant sighed.

"Shiro-chan was talking during a tv again".


	2. Chapter 2

NOTES: Please review

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach, if i did the following parings would have happend, hitsa/hina, zaraki/unohana and rukia/renji.

_CHAPTER TWO_

* * *

As the sixth division lieutenant walk towards his tachios office, he wonderd why the captain called him. Did the arrancar attack, shinigami traitors or did rukia get hurt!

Once Renji was in the office, he saw Byakaya sitting at his desk with Senbonzaka at his side. Man was he glad that he didnt bring Zabimaru, the last time those two and Senbonzaka were in the same room was at the eleventh division barracks, and well the barracks and several other buildings were destroyed, by the way did you know Zaraki was a lawyer who graduated from yale, the sixth division sure didnt. Anyway renji was now sitting in front of his taicho when he began to speak.

"Abrai Fukataicho", began the noble Captain," I am led to believe that you have what the humans call a _tv"._

Renji gulped," Yes taicho i do", hoping it wouldnt be taken away.

Byakaya nodded," The following is going to happen, me and Senbonzaka will come to your quarters in two hours, you will provide snacks and drinks and you will tell no,one i was there do you understand.

"O-k, Taicho", said Renji not to sure what he just agreed to.

Byakaya nodded(again)," Good, you may take your leave, Abrai,".

Renji got up, bowed and then left, hoping he wouldnt regret what he just agreed too.

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN **HES **COMING OVER"!

Zabimaru was, _lets _say annoyed. Not only did they have to sit in the same room with the masked bastard but they had to serve him too.

"Look, it,l only be little while and i cant say no my taicho", pleaded Renji.

Zabimaru was still furious," I DONT GIVE A DAMN", shouted both zanpakutos.

Renji was forced to his last resort, **Bargaining**," Well if you let them come over i give three months pay",

Chimpete smiled slyly," Make it five".

Renji growled," fine", he knew when he was beaten.

Zabimaru high fived each other, although he,d convinced them Renji was still wondering why Byakaya was coming.

* * *

A knock on the door was heard, Renji went to open it, and in the in the doorway was guess who, thats right, Byakaya and Senbonzaka.

"Evening, Abrai ", greeted Byakaya.

"We brought salsa dip", cheerly stated the masked zanpakuto.

Renji snapped out of his daze," Oh, thank you", as he took the dip," Come in".

Senbonzaka and Byakaya came into the house. In the kitchen zabimaru had cook a delicous meal of chips,salad,cocktail sausages and chocalte(also the kitchen and most of the bedroom were destroyed but why fret over little stuff).

Renji then ask the question that has been on his mind all night.

"Eh,tachio, ive been wondering why did you come over".

Byakaya sighed," Abrai, when i was in the real world i endulged in human entertainment, i discoverd a tv show called Freinds".

Renji was completely shocked, Kuiciki Byakaya liked a simple tv show like friends. Renji did like the show but still didnt think that his Taicho would even acknowlge it.

Renji snapped out of his thought,"Taicho, that still dosent really answer my question".

Byakaya rolled his eyes," I only saw season one and half of two, i wish to watch some here".

Renji had a slight understanding of the situation now, but one thing still go," er, Taicho, i know why your here, bit why is Senbonzaka here".

Senbonzaka cut in," I also quite like the show".

Renji, Byakaya and the zanpakutos walk over to the tv. Renji was around the same episode as Byakaya so they were good there and zabimaru like the show too.

During the middle of the episode, the group began to talk about the show.

"so", Began senbonzaka," Do you think Ross and Raechel will get together".

" Yea, isint it obvious they both love each other", spoke lieutenant Abrai.

"Hm", nodded sebonzaka," What about Joey and pheobe, there seems to be something going on there.

Snakey snorted," What are you stupid, its obvious that Monica and Joey will get together".

"Your both wrong", Spoke up Byakaya," Monica and Chandler are going to get together, you can tell by there sexual tension".

"If thats true then the three guys would have a threesome", Exclaimed chimpette.

The room went eerily silent. Then ichigo entered.

"What are you guys doing here", asked the human shinigami.

"Watching a tv show", Stated Renji pointing at the tv

Ichigo look at the tv," Freinds, havent you already seen the end of this tv show, you know when ro-".

At that excact moment five blades surrounded ichigos neck.

"Kurosaki Ichigo", Spoke Byakaya," What you say next will decide whether you live or die".

Ichigo quickly left the room.

"So, want to watch the rest of the episode", Spoke Renji.

Byakaya smiled," Of course".


	3. Chapter 3

NOTES: I will probably concentrate on this fanfic, since I find it easier to write.

Disclaimer: I didn't own it in Chapter one, I Didn't own it in Chapter two, and I don't own it now.

_CHAPTER TWO_

* * *

All was good in the Eight and Thirteenth Division barracks. Nanao did her work, Kiyone and Sentaro argued, everything was good.

Except for one thing.

"WHERES UKITAKE TAICHO?".

The third seat of the Thirteenth Division was livid, now matter where she look she couldn't find him. Kiyone and sentaro were both terrified.

"W-What if he got attack by a hollow or k-killed?", Kiyone shudder'd.

"Baka, no hollow could ever harm Ukitake Taicho", Scolded the bearded third seat.

"But we have to find him, I would even go to the human world for him", Exclaimed Kiyone proudly.

"Well, I would even go to hell to find him", Replied Senatoro angrily.

"Ha, thats nothin, I would go to hucao mundo for Ukitake Taicho", Stated the tomboy Shinigami in victory.

Before the two could continue arguing, a book holding Fukataicho enter'd.

Nanao clear'd her throat," Koetetsu, Kotubaki".

"ISE FUKATAICHO", Both third seat screamed in surprise," What are you doing here".

"I cant seem to find my Taicho, although I'm not complaining I am worried about where he is".

"We have the same problem, we cant find Ukitake Taicho".

Nanao look up in thought," We should look for their Zanpaktous, they might know where they are".

"I was just about to say that, good thinking Ise Fukatiacho", Answer'd Sentaro happily.

"NO you weren't, I was about to", Shouted Kiyone as she hit her fellow third seat.

"STOP LYING".

"YOU STOP LYING".

"NO,YOU".

"NO,YOU".

Nanao rube'd her head. This was going to be a loooooonnnnng day.

* * *

After Kiyone and Sentaro stop arguing, the trio left. As they ran around seritie, eventually they found Katen Kyokotsu and Sogyo no Kotowari banging on a large boarded door.

"Shunshui GET OUT OF THERE NOW!", Shouted the taller half of Katen Kyokostu," You've been in there for hours".

"I,l be out in a few minutes", Replied the perverted Taicho," Me and Jushiro are going over how to fight the tojus".

The eye patched Zanpaktou was furious," We beat them four months ago, and who were those men with boxes who came in a hour ago".

"NO ONE", Shouted Shunshui.

"Jushiro, when are you coming out, we want to play", Begged Sogyo no Kotowari.

"I'l be in a little bit, dont worry", Shouted the white haired Taicho.

Nanoe and the third seats ran over.

"Katen Kyokostu, Sogyo no Kotowari whats been happening", Asked an out of breath Nanao.

"The dumbass Shunshui and Jushiro have been in there since morning", Angrily answered the female Zanpaktou.

"And big men with boxes came here earlier", added the young boys.

"Why dont you just tear down the door", Sentaro inquired.

"They put up severe'l barriers on the door", Explained Katen Kyokostu as she slashed the door, but had no effect.

Kiyone smacked Sentaro's head," Baka, wasn't it obvious".

"Hey I didn't see you explaining it".

While the two argued, Nanao began thinking of a remedy for the problem.

She clicked her fingers," Why dont we get the Soutaicho to help".

"Great idea Nanao, I was just about to say that", Stated the brown haired third seat.

Sentaro intruded," Now you weren't, I was".

As the two argued(AGAIN!) Nanao and the Zanpaktous left for the Soutaichos office.

* * *

As Nanao, the Zanpaktous and the Soutaicho walk towards the baracaded door, they saw Sentaro and Kiyone still arguing.

"Third seats", Stated yarmamato," Cease your arguing this instant!".

"Of course Soutaicho", They answer'd in sync.

Yarmamoto turned to the door," Ukitake, Kyoraku get out here right now".

There was no answer.

Yarmamoto growled in anger, he then used Ryujin jakka to incinerate the door.

What he saw was completely mind scrambling.

What was in the in the room was a flat screened tv, playing some sort of teleshopping show, tens of boxes piled on top of each other. The main shock was the Taicho's appearance. Ukitake normally kept hair was dirty and scrunched up and Kyoraku's pink kimoe had huge stains and his beard was extreamly dirty.

"What have you two been doing", Asked the first Division Taicho.

"Ah, Yamamoto Taicho, I didn't see you". Stated Ukitake as he scrambled to his feet.

The Soutaicho eyed him angrily," You still haven't answer'd my question".

Shunshui stood up," Well you see, we were up last night, you know making plans for Division training, when we found this show. You get just about anything from it".

Yarmamoto got even angrier," That doesn't matter what mat- is that juicer turning apple and oranges into two seprete drinks".

"Ukitake".

"I know i'v already ordered six to be sure", Shouted Ukitake from the phone.

"Good", Stated Yarmamoto.

"UKITAKE, THERES SOMETHING NEW ON THE TV", Shunshui yelled.

"WHAT IS IT ".

"ITS A MINI TREADMILL, ONE FOR EACH FOOT", Shunshui yelled estaicicly.

"ORDER 20", Yarmamoto order'd.

"I JUST ORDER'D 40", Yelled back Jushiro.

"GOOD", Replied Yarmamoto. Yarmamoto then walked to the others outside the door.

"This room is to not be disturbed under threat of incineration".

And with that Yarmamoto walked back in.

Nanaos eye was twitching," W-What just happend".

* * *

So what did you think. Please review.


	4. Chapter 4

NOTES: Please review. Also check profile for poll.

Disclaimer: Bleach would be very different if I did own it.

CHAPTER FOUR.

* * *

Toshiro skipped happily(Fifth sign of the apocalypse!) Towards the Fifth Division. Recently the Tenth Taicho had began dating his childhood friend, Hinamori Momo. Ever since that day, Hitsugaya had a certain spring in his step. The Captain was nearly always smiling, he let small things slide, hell, sometimes he would let Matsamoto off paperwork. Life was good for the white haired Captain.

Once Toshiro arrived at the barracks, he was treated to an, lets say _odd_ sight. Inside was a crying Momo, a mountain of tissues and a large tv playing loudly. Hitsugaya's protective instinct kicked in.

"MOMO! Whats wrong!"

Momo turned to Toshiro, tissues in hand,"Shiro-chan...the woman...wahhhhh!"

"What woman! Whats wrong Momo!", Worriedly asked the short Taicho.

The Fifth Division Fukataicho manage to regain some of her composure," The poor woman on the tv, Shiro-chan".

Toshiro was _quite _confused," What?"

Hinamori pointed at the tv," The poor women has five kids and their father left them two years ago", Stated Momo as she burst into tears again.

Hitsugaya ran over and hug her," Momo, calm down and what exactly are you watching?"

Momo calmed down(AGAIN!)," Its called Maury. Its about people with such hard lives".

Toshiro looked at the tv and then at his girlfriend," Momo, you should really stop watching these shows. I hate seeing you like this".

Hinamori smiled. The past month had been heaven for her, Toshiro treated her like a queen and never lost his temper like he use to.

Toshiro walked into the kitchen,"I'l whip up some cake, you just sit there and rest Momo", Happily stated the boy genius.

Momo nodded and sat down on the couch. Although she was happy with how caring Toshiro was acting, something did pop into her head,"_Shiro-chan didn't seem to think the show was to sad"._

The white haired Taicho re-enter'd the room with two slices of cake," Here hunny, so anything new?"

The black haired Lieutenant began to eat her cake," Oh, same old, same old. But there is something I wanted to ask you".

Toshiro raised an eyebrow,"What?".

"Well I was going to watch another episode of Maury, but I would like it if you would watch it with me", Cheerly asked Momo.

The short Captain sighed," Momo, I thought I already told you I hate seeing you cry"

Hinamori put on her best puppy-dog look," Please Shiro-chan, I promise I won't cry".

Toshiro didn't budge," That look didn't work when we weren't dating and it won't work now".

Hinamori sighed, she would have to bring out her ace in the hole. Momo picked up her cake and purposely drop'ed some on her kimoe," Oh dear", Stated The Fifth Fukataicho in an obvious tone," I drop some cake on my kimoe, if anymore gets on I might have to take it off".

Toshiro was shaking, and began mentally comforting himself," _Must resist!Must resist!"_

Momo smiled, her plan was working," If I was watching something I would probably be more careless with my food".

The Captain was in Spasms,"_Don,t give in Toshiro!Just don't give in!"_

Momo could tell her Boyfriend was breaking," It might even get on my pants".

Toshiro was done," Fine", He wheezed.

The Fifth Lieutenant grinned,"_ That was too easy", _She thought to herself.

* * *

A few hours later the Fifth Division barracks was quite the sight. Inside the barracks there was a blazing tv, a heap of tissues and the loud sound of a crying. One problem though. It wasn't Hinamori.

Inside the barracks was Hitsugaya Toshiro, wailing in the Fukataicho's office, weeping about some poor women. The actual Fukataicho was baffled.

Hinamori was distracted from the show by her boyfriends behavior. She had never seen Toshiro like this, and like Shiro hated seeing the other like this.

"Eh, Shiro-chan", Began Momo, Are you okay?"

Toshiro turned to Hinamori, tears in his eyes, " How can I be Momo, this poor women lost her husband and's in debt...wahhhhh!"

Hinamori was still sad, seeing Toshiro like this was killing her. She thought of her one last option," _Shiro-chan_," She whisper'd playfully," _I got some cake on my clothes I think i'l have to take them off"._

Toshiro his head towards his girlfriend. His face lit up," Really Momo".

Momo smiled," _HUGE SUCCESS", _She thought to herself.

Toshiro was about to leave until a new problem arise'd.

A new story came on about a woman who has three children and a young husband.

Toshiro sat back down," That poor woman", Stated The Tenth Captain.

Momo sighed. There was no getting him out of this one. The Lieutenant retreated to her room and began thinking.

"_Note to self. Don't get Toshiro into my interests"._

* * *

So what did you think. Please review. and put tv shows you would like to see


	5. Chapter 5

NOTES: Please review along with TV shows you would like to see. Also I might mostly make HitsuHina fics.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

CHAPTER FIVE.

* * *

Toshiro sighed. Today he was heading towards Momo's office. Due to a deal he made with his love, he had to watch one of her favorite shows, he didn't quite know what it was but he was sure he was going to hate it. Although he was hooked on her last show(Damn Maury), he was sure that was a one time thing. The only reason he agreed was that Momo made a _Compelling _argument.

The little Captain made it to the Fifth Division, he almost thought of running away. Once he got inside, he saw Momo taking off her Haoiri(She hasn't got bankai yet, RIGHT!) and placing it on a chair.

The temporary Taicho ran to her boyfriend," Shiro-chan, I was wondering when you'd get here".

Hitsugaya smiled," Hey bedwetter Momo".

"HEY THAT WAS ONE TIME", Yelled Momo defensively.

"Whatever you say", Replied Toshiro in a mocking manner," Anyway, can we just watch this thing and get it over with".

"I thought you'd like it, you like the last one", Counter'd the black haired Shinigami.

Toshiro growled," That was a one time thing and it wasn't even that good".

"Oh really," Stated Hinamori as she opened a drawer, pulling out a a video tape," You do know I tape everything in my office".

"You do?" Asked the white haired Taicho nervously.

"Yep, I wonder if Matsamoto-san would like to have this" Playfully answer'd the young Lieutenant.

Toshiro stood up,"Momo give me the tape!"

Momo smiled," Stop calling me bedwetter and I will".

Toshiro was even more frustrated," Momo, give me the tape or I'l take it!"

"I don't think you can", Mocked Momo.

Hitsugaya growled. The white haired Taicho charged straight at Momo. Unfortunately for Toshiro, Momo had the height advantage. The Fifth Division Lieutenant held the tape proudly above her head, as her boyfriend futile'y attempted to snatch the tape from her hands.

Toshiro gave up,"Fine, you win".

Momo smiled in victory," So, you'l stop calling me that".

The short Shinigami sighed in defeat,"Yes".

Hinamori handed her boyfriend the tape. The Fukataicho then resumed their earlier conversation,"The show will be coming on in a minute. Come on I don't want to miss the start".

Hitsugaya shrugged and went over with Hinamori to the TV.

* * *

The show was some sort of model show. Momo watched It because she loved the fashion and clothes. Toshiro, on the other hand liked It for a different reason. Hitsugaya was glued to the screen, looking at what was under the clothes, this was the closest the Taicho ever got to watching porn. Hinamori noticed this and began to feel self conscious.

"Toshiro", Asked Momo sadly.

Hitsugaya snapped out of the trance. Momo only ever called him Toshiro unless it was serious,"Whats wrong Momo".

Momo looked at the white haired Captain,"Toshiro, do you wish that I looked more like those women".

Hitsugaya felt like stabbing himself, how could he be so much of a jerk. "Look Momo", Began Toshiro,"It dosen't matter to me that you don't look like them, I love you just the way you are".

Although Toshiro thought he delt with his girlfriends insecurity, Momo only appear'd to hear one thing.

"What do you mean "Don't look like them".

Toshiro began to sweat,"Its nothing Momo".

Hinamori didn't let up,"No, tell me, whats different, is It the breasts".

Toshiro sweat'ed even more," No! Its not that, Its more of your bigger as-I mean nothing!"

Momo was fuming,"Bigger ASS!"

Hitsugaya was terrified, he was never use to Hinamori getting mad,"NO WAIT!, I didn't say that".

The enraged black haired Lieutenant didn't calm down," I Heard YOU SAY IT".

"WAIT! Momo, Its not that bad".

"NOT THAT BAD!NOT THAT BAD! WHAT, DID YOU EXPECT IT TO KNOCK YOU OUT WHEN I TURNED AROUND!"

Toshiro was backed into a corner,"No, forget I said anything".

Hinamori still persisted,"HOW CAN I, EVIDENTLY I HAVE A HUGE ASS!"

What happen next was not good for Toshiro, not good at all.

"SNAP TOBIME".

* * *

At the Tenth Division, Matsamato had just finished her paperwork. Suddenly, her Taicho entered the barracks, scorched head to toe.

"TAICHO!", The busty lieutenant yelled," What happen'd to you".

Hitsugaya, barely staying conscious, breathed out one statement," Don't...call...Momo...fat".

The then severely injured Taicho then preceded to pass out.

* * *

So what did you think. Please Review along with TV shows you'd like to see in the future stories.


	6. Chapter 6

NOTES: Sorry for delay, had trouble thinking of story ideas. Anyway enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

* * *

The Ninth Division was filled with laughter. Recently the Ninth-Fukataicho had discover'd a hilarious tv show where people send in embarrassing videos. Nearly ever'y day, Hisagi would invite Kira over to watch the show with him, and everyday both Lieutenants would burst out laughing. One day when they were watching the show, a certain thought came into the blond-Fukataicho's head.

"Hey, Hisag-san, have you seen how much they pay for these videos?", Began the blond man.

"Yea, what about it?", Inquired Shuhhei.

Kira put his arms behind his head and relaxed on the couch,"I'm just thinking that our Divisions could do with some money".

Hisagi nodded,"We could, but nothing funny ever happens around here". As Hisagi said this, Iba drop'ed a ten foot pile of plates on to ikkaku.

Izuru smirked," But what if we made some funny things happen?".

"What do you mean?", Asked the tattooed Fukataicho.

"I'm just saying, what if by chance, a bucket full of water or soup or uri-".

"I get the picture", Interrupted Hisagi.

Izuru sat back up," So, you in or out?" Asked the Third Division Fukataicho.

Hisagi shrugged," Hell, why not, but I still don't think we,ll anything worthwhile". While the to discussed what to do, Shunshui drop'ed a twenty foot pile of sake bottles onto Jushiro.

* * *

Hitsugaya exited his office. It's been a long week for the short Shinigami, he was frozen, embarrassed and lit on fire. He just wanted to go home have some tea, read a book and have a good long sleep. However, two certain Fukataichos had other plan's.

Toshiro walked through the doors of his building and noticed something was_ Different. _He addressed a certain tattooed man.

"Hisagi-Fukataicho", The Tenth Taicho began," What did you do?".

"I don't know what your talking about," Replied Hisagi, playing coy.

Toshiro sighed,"Well, first of all, why are there twenty-two rake's around me?"

"Coincidence", Answer'd Shuhei calmly.

"I see, and why is there a camera next to your foot?" Asked Toshiro, pointing at the poorly hidden camera.

Hisagi began to sweat,"That's not a camera, It's my dog...Fuddles, why don't you come over and pet him?"

Hitsugaya was beginning to get mad,"And how much more of this bullshit to you expect me to believe?"

Shuhei was figeting,"W-Well y-you see...KIRA NOW!", Shouted Hisagi.

Right on que, Kira appear'd out of nowhere and hurled a lamp at the short Taichos head. Fortunately, Toshiro was able to block the lamp with little to no effort.

The irritated Taicho raised his zanpaktou,"**BANKAI!".**

Kira got up and began running,"QUICK! SHUHEI! RUN FOR IT.

* * *

An hour later, a much colder Hisagi and Kira arrived in a very steamy area.

"You and your stupid plan", Angrily stated Hisagi,"You told me Toshiro would think it would be a laugh, next you know, were being chased by a giant ice dragon".

"Minor setback", Retorted Kira,"The next one is bound to work".

Shuhei rolled his eyes,"I doubt it, and where exactly are we?", Asked the scared Fukataicho as he examined the steamy area.

Kira smiled slighty,"Well since plan A didn't work, it's time for plan B".

"And what would that be?" An annoyed Hisagi Inquired.

The blond man began to explain,"Well, what's the funniest thing besides accident's?"

"People running around naked of course", Answer'd Shuhei.

"Exactly", Replied Izuru,"And from what I hear this is where the Shingami womens association showers".

Shuhei waved his arm in the air,"Your just doing this to see Matsamato-san naked".

"You know", Began Kira,"I think Isane-san showers here".

"INTO THE BREACH!" Loudly stated Hisagi.

* * *

Once Kira and Hisagi set up the camera, they began a long stakeout. And I mean long!

After three hours, Hisagi was beginning to get tired.

"Are you completely sure this is where they shower?", Complained Hisagi.

"Yes, I got it from Matsamato-san herself," Stated Izuru,"I remember she told me if I ever wanted to look at them showering to come here".

"Sometimes I worry about you", Mumbled Shuhei.

Suddenly a sound of somebody entering stop the two's arguing.

"Quick!", Order'd Kira,"Get the camera".

"Hai", Came from Shuhei.

After getting the camera up, both Fukataichos were quite surprised at who they saw.

"Kira-san", Hisagi shudderd,"I don't think this the right shower".

"**SCATTER SENBONZAKARA".**

* * *

A few hours later, both Izuru and Shuhei were in the Fourth Division barracks with a common case of "Cut by cherry blosoms", and were in deep care, but both of them could still talk freely.

"Make a video, he said. We'll make money he said. And look where we are now", Fumed Hisagi.

"I'm very sorry, Hisagi-san", Apologise'd Izuru.

Hisagi rolled his eyes. Him and Kira were nearly cover'd in bandages and were in a lot of trouble for breaking into a captains bathroom. Just as they were about to start arguing again, Two Lieutenants enter'd the room. One blond and busty and one black haired and smiling.

"Kira-san, Hisagi-san," Stated Rangiku,"Look what I've got," She stated, waving a wad of money in her hand.

"Where'd you get that?," Asked Kira in confusion.

"From a tv contest," Informed Momo,"We had to send in an embarrassing video".

Hisagi cocked an eyebrow,"Really? What did you send in?"

Matsamato giggled as she pulled out a videotape. She then proceeded to put the video in the tv. What appeared on the tv was Hisagi and kira's attempt to film their video. Suddenly both injured Lieutenants remember'd that they heard footsteps behind them a'lot and giggles.

Shuhei manage to raise himself from his bed and pick up something in a box, he then raised the box and pulled out what was inside.

REAP KAZESHINI!

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Sorry for not putting in the stories suggested. I just couldn't think of how to do them. pretty OOC wasn't it. Anyway please review


	7. Chapter 7

**NOTES**: I know I haven't updapted in a while, kinda' just been having a bit of trouble thinking of idea's. Anyway, Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

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You would very rarely ever see the ice cold captain of the tenth division with anything other than a scowl on his face.

But today didn't seem normal from the very start.

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Toshiro had a, to put it lighty a rough week. First of all, he was unceremonius'ly temporarily kicked out of his occupation of live-in boyfriend to the pretty but fiery fifth lieutenant. Second of all, he was forced to sleep on the couch in his office, due to him selling his apartnent after making a commitment to his beloved to never live anywhere but with her.

"_Well that blew up in my face_," The young captain thought as he tried to get off the horribly uncomfortable couch, which he decided to name 'Damn'it!' as that was the sound he made when ever he got up from it.

Once he got up and got himself clean'ed-up, he decided today was the day where he would get back Momo and finaly get off that eternal known as the office couch.

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Toshiro then began to pace back and fourth in his office. The tenth captain, the genius boy, was stump'ed. The little white-haired shinigami tried to think of all the things that he could do to repair the relationship. Chocalate? No, she would probably think it was too much of simple and half-assed idea. Flowers? Nope, Momo had a lot of allergies when it came to flowers. Toshiro may not know a lot about what he was doing, but putting Momo in the hospital was exactly the best way to go about it.

Toshiro slumped back into his chair and took a deep breath. He was getting nowhere. Suddenly the door flew open, revealing a stumbiling, tall blonde with a distinct smell of sake off her.

"How's it g-goin' Taicho-Kun?" The lieutenant slured out.

"_Great," _Toshiro thought. She's drunk, yet again. Toshiro got up and began to tell her to leave and take her sake she had hidden int he office with her, but was interupted by the taller lieutenant.

"Ah, I know what your problem is, your all in a bad mood thinkin' about your dear little Mo-chan and how to win er' back," Matsumoto pointed at her head after this, as if to prove how smart she was for deducing a problem that she had been around for a month and a half.

Toshiro hated this, when she talked like Gin and he also hate'd how she was right. "Look," Hitsugaya began, he was running out of options and decide'd that anyone's opinion could help right now "Let's say that if I did need your help-which i don't, but how would you go about doing that."

Matsumoto had a smug look on her face as she began to dool out advice "Well, ya' see gift's and all won't really work in this situation as they'll think your just trying to get a easy way out," She stop'ed to take a drink of her sake that she brang before restarting "So your goin' to hav' to use one of the most complicated way's of solveing your types of problem," She took an even bigger drink of her sake as if the next word was hard to say "Talking."

Toshiro then listened as Matsumoto told him of how to talk to her face to face and what to say and how to reply to each of her questions and for one the first time's she listened heavely to all her words.

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Toshiro took a deep breath before walking to the fifth office. After tedious'ly listening to Matsumoto's combination of romantic advice and drunken ramblings, had finally manged to get the time and the courage to confront Momo. Once finding out that flowers and chocalate were both out of the question for this particular problem, he decided that using his 'charisma' and 'intelligence' to would be the best way to win her back. Once Toshiro got the heart to knock on the door, he saw something that renderd even the child genius completely confused.

Inside the office,that Toshiro had so many times been in with his 'little peach', had now the large tv playing some sort of video, that showcased a young women, dancing on a pole, all the while instructing the watcher to do the same. But what confused Toshiro, was that his 'Little peach' was not only listening to the video, but was doing as instruced on a pole that mirrored the one in the now 'pornagraphic' video, as Toshiro had deduced it as. It was then that Momo notice'd her currently in-shock boyfriend.

"Shiro-chan!" Momo screamed at the top of her lung's, promting Toshiro to snap out of his confused and slightly aroused state.

Toshiro then thought quite carefully about what to do next.

The speed at which Toshiro ran out of that office was unbleivable.

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_Earlier that day._

Momo was sat at her couch, once again angered at what happened with her white haired captain.

_"I can't belive how stupid I was!" _Momo thought as she stomped on the floor and had another reliveing of how she overeacted to Toshiro's dumb comment. Before Momo could get any more mad about what had happened, the door flung open, revealing a tall and long haired lieutenant.

"Hey ya' Mo-chan," Matusomoto yell'ed out as she entered. It was clear that she was drunk, and was in an clear mood to chat.

"Hey Ran-chan," Momo replied weakly and unhapply.

"Still in a little mood about what happened with Taicho-kun?" Momo nodded in agreement. Before she could fully reply, Matsumoto did it first. "Well, ya' see, you and taicho's little spat is really startin' to upset me, so I decied'ed to step in and help," Matusomoto then pulled out a tape from her kimino and handed it to Momo "Just follow what the tape say's and you and taicho will be all right," She stated, emphasing the "all".

"Oh, and the things you need to help ya' with it, I left them outside," Matsumoto remarked just before leaving and getting thank's from Momo.

Once outside,Matusmoto smirked and began to think.

"_Step one; Done," _and then, Matsumoto walked off to the tenth division.

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I know that chapter does'int have much tv in it, but it was mainly a sequel to the HitsuHina chapter. Also my spelling may be a bit off, my spell-checks not really working. Anyway please Read and Review.


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